Does emotional intelligence stop us from being rude? Here’s what the science says

By Irini Mavrou, Associate professor, Universidad Nebrija; UCL
Nicola McNab, Researcher and teacher trainer, Universidad Nebrija

We often assume that how we respond to a rude comment says something stable about us: our personality, our culture, even the language we are speaking. If someone reacts calmly, we presume they are a patient person. If they snap back, we might assume they are short-tempered.

But our research suggests something more immediate is at work. In tense moments, several factors interact, and how we feel “right now” often shapes our reply as much as – and sometimes more than – who we are in general.

In our 2025…

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